Hello pals, March 30, 2018
Winter has left us for now. What comes with the beautiful season of snowfall & holiday galore will return once again, but for now we can be more than content knowing warmth and vibrance are starting to bloom all around us all the while providing us a new beginning to embark on.
One thing I sometimes struggle with is letting go of thoughts of, “What was, what could be, what I “think” should have been, or even just….what I want.”. The difficulty and fault in this thought process is the mere fact that dwelling on any possibilities that I cannot do anything to change will help me in no way to get ahead, but keep me running in circles and wasting my time.
My whole life I have changed my plans over and over. Sometimes I fear it makes me appear as if I am indecisive (which maybe a little bit I am, but not on anything of great importance), and in all honestly I should only care what God thinks and not others, but due to my constant struggle to understand where I am going and why I am not where I predicted so many times before, I find my own mind wears me down. I have always had many ideas and hopes in my life, I will continue to do so, but let’s start with one particular “plan” from not long ago, I strictly had, for now. Two years ago I had somewhat decided (more so, 80% came up with a plan I didn’t feel God wanted me to move forward with in my heart), that I was going into the Air Force and I wanted to become a pilot.
First off, there were so many reasons that I knew, deep down inside me, it was not right for me, but on the surface, I thought it was. I thought, most importantly I would get to protect people, help people, defend my country that I am grateful for, and of course I would get help with college tuition, be provided a stable job and home, future and not to mention, piloting an air plane would be darn amazing. However, while the objective I had, the desire I had to protect, help and defend is part of what I believe to be my purpose in life, the rest of the reasons I was seeking this plan, was not what is God’s plan for me, at least not yet. I think I was running after what I thought I was supposed to go out and achieve right away, go to college, buy a home, and live comfortably. This is not something I am saying I never want in life, but I was putting blinders on, thinking it was my way, it must be because other people do it and find success. I remember telling my mom, “I am going into the Air Force and noone is going to tell me I won’t”. Though, deep down, I actually knew there were so many reasons, (I will neglect to dwell on for the time being), that this was not the plan for me.
My plans started shifting as time moved forward and I let God take over, I let him reach me in my heart. I realized I had probably not be a pilot due to my eyesight and wasn’t even sure with the strict qualifications if I could or even should. My eyesight is corrected by the way. 😉 There was also a possible past health issue that may have interfered. So I tried to find other jobs I would be okay with in the military, trying to convince myself I would enjoy other careers in the branch, and be fulfilled. I may find temporary enjoyment, but I would not be fulfilled. Eventually, I felt God was pulling me somewhere else. As hard as it is, I sometimes find myself wanting to go back to this original plan because I find comfort in knowing of a security, but that is why I work so hard to have faith. I know God has something better for me, I even know deep down again, that is not what I even feel will fulfill me in my purpose. I must allow myself to give it to God.
I am not going to lie. It is so hard to not imagine where I could be right now. Though, I find the more I accept that that plan was not for me, the more I am excited and relieved I stayed on God’s path. I received so many blessings from God that I would not be receiving the same ones, had I thought I could only be successful with the route my own perceptive was giving me. Use your mind. Use your heart. Most importantly, let God guide you, however.
While I still don’t know where I am going, I am excited, and finally letting God take over as I try to align myself with his target for me brings me peace. I struggle. I hurt, but who knows? If I went down the wrong path as I almost may have, my life could have been falling apart, but because I continually choose God, my life can only rebuild and grow, and bloom no matter where I reside on this journey.
God is where we find solitude, and hope. If we can pray about it. We can seek God and understanding to listen to if what we want is what is best for us. If what we think we want is not what is best for us, we need to keep faith in God knowing that what he has planned for us is much greater, but we need to take a leap, and have faith in him.
It may be hard. It may not be what we thought we should or could have. However, we will be much more than content knowing that we stuck it out, listened and let him work us without letting ourselves overcome with misery because we think we should be someone or somewhere else.
A new beginning is okay to accept. A new beginning can provide blessings from God you never expected. A new beginning can enrich you, and your life and add color you didn’t even know existed, but you have to move on and have faith.
You can soak in his comfort so I want to end with a Bible verse for you to help you do just that.
Isaiah 43:18-19 English Standard Version (ESV) “18 “Remember not the former things, nor consider the things of old.
19 Behold, I am doing a new thing; now it springs forth, do you not perceive it?
I will make a way in the wilderness and rivers in the desert.”
Molly Marie 🙂