Hi everyone, non aliens & the like.
I got to thinkin’ so I’ll do the usual & start telling you here of what I was thinkin’…. Do you ever feel like a part of you gets slowly stolen, drastically taken or plain old changed up & then once that part of you is rediscovered, given back or un jumbled, you begin to feel more than content once again, like your old self, you laugh & smile with genuine eyes again, however you have a lingering feeling of, now what? The “now what” gets me. Whenever the “now what” appears, I get, oddly enough, a little more lost than I was when I was utterly lost. Are you following? The thing that holds me up is promise from God.
Nonetheless, I don’t always know the promises I’m supposed to be held up by. Why am I so much better than I was with whatever happening was the cause of a particular hurting crisis, or where do I go from here? I do indeed like to connect dots, get deep & learn lessons. While I do realize God has a hand in much of all that may bring pain & He brings us through, the thing I want to talk more about is the fact that I am not the only person that was affected by what affects me.
I truly believe sometimes I put too much focus on why something may have or not happened in a “what I hope” or “think or thought would be best” way is not only because it wouldn’t have been best for me, my life, but we have to remember, sometimes maybe we just get affected through the lives of others because they needed to learn something, grow from something & get going into something that they couldn’t have done without our presence, no matter how short or long or close or barley noticeable we may have been in their lives.
Maybe certain circumstances don’t work out or unravel the way they should just because, for no reason, or for our benefit, yes, but also maybe we just as well get put into situations by God so we can help others because God knows that we will be able to bounce back, or have the one glimmer someone, someplace or some idea needed. Hm. It’s not always just about us.
It seems a little sad to me, I will be honest, to know that maybe some things just happen because they happen. Our Lord has a level of intelligence so high, I will not be able to understand it all, but I do believe that he made the world work in a way, that not everything is supposed to mean something bigger at every circumstance. Some occurrences just occur. Bad things, sad things, hurtful things, sometimes they just happen. Now I do think God will step in, guide us and help us if He thinks it is needed. I do believe that God does put us in certain situations on purpose to teach us, and lead us. I do believe God wants us to have joy with him. Ultimately, he keeps us leaning on Him, and he wants us to enjoy our lives, but realize he is the backbone, our rad helper, and what keeps us going and how we strive to live and want him to be our guide and leader.
Again, that said being said, life happens. Sometimes we get the brunt of downfalls and agony, but we deal with it. I find comfort knowing that perhaps God knew that I would be able to handle a certain level of pain in order to help someone else. God has ways I will never understand and that is okay. I find hope in knowing that I don’t and never will understand all of God’s workings and do not need to try to get all the answers as we don’t know everything because again, God wants us to have joy, and knowing absolutely everything will mean we have no reason to look towards God anymore, which is a downfall. He is our Creator, we always need Him.
My life is constantly feeling ironic in the way that friendships evolve in the way they do. A few months ago I started a Bible study with a close pal of mine. We are growing. We have people I am first meeting and I am reconnecting with friends from multiple areas of my life and past. I find it odd to think God brought us all together at this time in my life because it’s been getting stranger for me, in regards to decisions of change and moving forward. However, the one thing I do know is that when I meet with my group, I leave with a smile. I have had a hard time smiling genuinely for the longest time as often as I have been able to for the past while. The group prays for each other, supports each other, and loves God with their hearts. It is beautiful seeing each friend of mine from different walks of life and walks with God all show the love they do for our differences so we can come together and try to live in the moment, breathe, learn about our God and feel good like God wants us to amongst all the pain that may or may not make sense.
I don’t know who is making a difference in who’s life. Though I sense God has something up his sleeve, because he put in my heart to begin this study to reach Him, and to be honest, sometimes I don’t find fulfillment in what I take away from our studies. However, I do see other girls taking away something on their hearts and minds, and that is proof, that perhaps we are in positions not to necessarily help us, but to work on the stories of others through God’s ways.
I encourage everyone to find a way to stay in the moment. I as much as anyone who may, loves finding ways to look deeper into matters, and sometimes that is needed. Nevertheless, sometimes it is not. Like I said before, it is not always about us. Take life the way you feel is right. Try your best. Look towards God. Keep moving forward. That is a comfort in it’s own way, it just depends on how you decide to understand it. Goodnight.
Proverbs 2:6 ESV
“For the Lord gives wisdom; from his mouth come knowledge and understanding;”
Molly Marie 🙂