Week Color Dark Blue

 

Hi friends,

As of course I always hope you are moving through your day with an upbeat stride in your steps from anywhere you go, truly hopeful each passing moment is important and fine, fine, fine to live through. It is. ๐Ÿ™‚

For me, my week was dark blue. Blue is pretty. I find blue calming. I find blue sad. I find blue lost. I find blue gentle. I find blue hidden amongst a โ€œseaโ€ of hope. โ€œSeaโ€ because the sea is blue.. yes. A pun. ๐Ÿ™‚

Overall my previous week, although Iโ€™ve been physically fighting some silly kind of ย  bug of a cough and losing my voice on and off, thatโ€™s the LEAST of my concerns.

I had a most lovely Janurary 1st. I hung out with my friend. My dear, dear friend whom I only met last summer, but has already made more of an impact on me than she knows. I love that girl. Our friendship means a lot to me, as friendships do. We walked around town, smiled for sweet photos and ate her homemade snack mix. Nonetheless, the day was blue because I was somewhat still sad, but being with a positive and calming friend brought me hope and that was day one of a new year, which supposedly means something, nevertheless, I donโ€™t find it means much more than a new number. However, metaphorically speaking, wow itโ€™s a new year. ๐Ÿ˜‰ A new year, shouldnโ€™t I not be sad at all? Not even a tad?

Lately, I havenโ€™t been feeling much yellow, or lavender or bright and zazzley pink. Iโ€™ve been at this blue. I know why and I donโ€™t know why either. I donโ€™t need to make sense. Itโ€™s not how I seem to work at times.

There are of course reasons we can all turn to for being sad, for feeling down and for being upset and lost. There are more attainably changeable surface reasons, โ€œI didnโ€™t sleep enoughโ€, or โ€œI got a speeding ticketโ€. Those are two surface level happenings that I do to myself that cause me a bit of blue. I need to not speed, and I need to go to bed and snooze.

Then there are the deeper reasons. These reasons can be a combination of surface reasons all bumbling into one another and causing you to fall quicker and deeper, or they can be frankly, reasons that by even only having one can cause your week to be less than yellow. They can be heavy and personal.

I have a couple problems I am facing in my life right now. I havenโ€™t been taking care of myself as well I should be. Golly, no not at all. Iโ€™ve learned so much in regards to valuable guidance from God and through family and friends the last year and half, personally and professionally somewhat, Iโ€™ve tried and worked and put into action advice and direction Iโ€™ve receieved. Iโ€™ve said no, Iโ€™ve said yes. Iโ€™ve made mistakes and Iโ€™ve second guessed. (This is quickly turning into a poem). Nevertheless, I still find my forward nature becoming lessley (itโ€™s a word now) full of zest. I feel like Iโ€™m in some sort of test.

I canโ€™t speak on certain situations or events or happenings in my life unless if it only hinders nothing, as I want to protect. It can be known however, that Iโ€™m tired and Iโ€™m fretting about letting myself become one of the many and be accepted or keep being myself though by this I find myself about to be less and less understood.

Donโ€™t we all seek to be understood, or at least at times? Maybe. Maybe not, but I sure do. I donโ€™t make sense often and Iโ€™m tired of hearing people to tell me to be more realistic. It really adds up and hurts bad when I let the words actually change my opinions, my decisions and how I live my own life out. As long as Iโ€™m not affecting anybody else, why should it matter. I understand when people want to protect me or want whatโ€™s best for me, but I have recently (including this week) when sifting over a lot of huge decisions I can either make or not make right now which will change the course of my life once more, find a whatโ€™s best for me may be different than a baseline definition already made.

My life is also not static. Itโ€™s not one bit.

I do realize I have quite high standards for everything in my life, maybe thatโ€™s why to some I may appear to be a bit silly or unrealistic. Maybe I am, but whatโ€™s so bad about it? The high standards I try my best to keep, keep me pushing for better jobs, or better plans, or better atmospheres, okay, honestly, a better life. I canโ€™t let myself lower my standards to fit a definition I have no intention on defining my life.

My week brought me blue from being with friends giving me calmness, to being blue to being sad, yes, I am sad for some personal reasons in my life, to feeling lost, because I do feel a little lost as I just need to know if someone can understand me even if they donโ€™t agree, I yearn to be understood, and it was blue in the gentle moments and itโ€™s blue, dark blue because dark blue is classic though.

Classic is timeless. Timeless is unchanged by different definitions being made by people who want to change everyone to fitting into their realistic approach. Timeless is itโ€™s own, and timeless shows me hope, that I can live timeless in my own path. I wonโ€™t be alone no matter what I choose. Iโ€™ve chosen to have a faith in God that will be here all the way in this life I live, through every color and every definition being defined. I have hope.

This week was blue because Iโ€™m tired. Iโ€™m not always going to be tired though because Iโ€™m doing something about the blue that shows me tired, Iโ€™m going to change what I need to change, and itโ€™s all full circle because to embark on changes I will have to be calm and understand the whereabouts of the sadness and know why I feel donโ€™t want to feel lost and how to put a stop to it and become more hopeful than ever.

I know God is with me. I often find myself praying late at night at a total loss and know only He can help me. I break down and cry. His power overcomes the air and I find His presence calms me more than anything I have known. Our God is timeless. He is indeed the best hope we have and He will not leave you, He wonโ€™t. So I must remember that as I move onward into my week, and decide upon choices that will effect my life once more. I do some spontaneous things, but often with a whole lot of thinking through. Who knows whatโ€™s next for us, right?

Happy week and remember youโ€™re worth it. ๐Ÿ™‚

Love,

Molly Marie ๐Ÿ™‚

 

2 thoughts on “Week Color Dark Blue

  1. You are NOT alone Jesus loves u Molly. Lately I had A little hard week too planning my big bachelorette and 22nf birthday but still joy in each day, why? Because we got Jesus and he keeps us going and we never give up. Amd we r never alone, he fully understands us and is our identity. Im taking a little social media fast, LOVE YOU ๐Ÿ’›๐Ÿฆ„๐Ÿ‘๐ŸŒž๐ŸŒž PRAYING FOR U love ur big sis Eleni, BOOYAH LIFE IS STILL BEAUTIFUL AMEN GIVING U A BIG HUG GIRL. 2019 IS OUR YEAR. Gonna start my new blog and keep influencing people as an inspiring spiritual teacher ๐Ÿ’› for Jesus. We are inspiring even in our struggles girl ! Xoxox take care of u too boo never forgrt that hope. I been there many times Jesus is bigger than the blues,! He will pull u out!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Golly, thank you Eleni. You stay full of joy girl, knowing God is always with you. Iโ€™m sending you back a hug, as I thank you for yours to myself. So many beautiful things are coming your way, arenโ€™t they? Jesus loves us all, and youโ€™re right our identity is in Him. I cannot wait to read your blog and see where life continues to take you my pal. ๐Ÿ™‚ ๐Ÿ’–๐Ÿ’šโค๏ธ๐Ÿ’™๐ŸŽ€๐ŸŽ€๐ŸŽ€๐ŸŽ€๐ŸŽ€๐Ÿ’œ๐Ÿ’œ๐Ÿ’œ๐Ÿ’œ๐ŸŽ€๐ŸŽ€๐Ÿ’–๐Ÿ’–๐Ÿ’–๐Ÿ’–

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