Week Color Light Green

Hi darlings,

As I find my way walking along each day this week, I am surrounded by a shadow of light green casting its presence over interactions, decisions and feelings. Do you find yourself having any color around you specifically this week?

Light green signifies a gentle adventure. When I think of green in its most usual state, I think of adventure. This adventure doesn’t have to be physical adventure by trudging through lost forests with a trusty monkey companion named Terrance. No, this adventure could be that though it can also be an adventure regarding the seeking out purposely or non purposely of new surroundings and possibilities in life. Now when I add that light green onto the green, it becomes more soft. Softness implies not brash, and gentle. Gentle adventures are small changes, small leaps and small possibilities finding their way into my life this week.

One of these light green happenings is my new outlook on my schooling. Sometimes with school I begin to forget how much I truly love learning and being in class because I become hindered by my fear of failure. Oh failure, why do I think I am a failure because my grades aren’t what I make up in my mind to be successful. I have always been this way, even though I am an A student who keeps up on her work and feels bad if she doesn’t do an essay to a certain ability she knows she has, I still stress. I get so upset if my grades even are high though not high enough. What is high enough? What is successful?

The number certainly doesn’t lie in my textbooks and my notebook.

I am not a failure, God made me how He wanted me to be. I am not defined by a grade, but rather my worth lies in God.

The answer lies in my determined nature to keep going and learning, because I took classes this semester, some that are new to me. For example, I took film and piano.

God has helped me pass piano song after piano song.

I know how to read music, I have been singing for years and have played flute. Nonetheless, the piano is rather different. Rhythm is my hardest “beat”. I can play the notes on the songs I am supposed to be playing, I can understand and perform legato, but I have a difficult time keeping with the 70 beats per minute metronome. I won’t give up though. I show up to class knowing that I am behind more so than desired, and that I could be farther along if I indeed practiced outside of class time, and during class time I tend to like to write poems along to music as I play, but no matter what, I wish I was just more skilled at piano. I knew giving up would be upsetting and was no a viable option, to become more musical and learn how to better go about musical theatre, I needed to continue to learn piano. So, I keep going to class, I keep trying and I am easy on myself. I don’t think I have to be at a certain level to be successful, but rather the consistent progress I am making is making me successful. God is helping me pass song after song.

I have dabbled in film by myself here and there, but I don’t know or I didn’t at the beginning of the semester, the difference between how to use the Canon XF-405 light settings and using a light kit with bright bulbs with barn doors to light up a scene. I didn’t know how to record using a H4N Zoom microphone/recorder or that I could sync sound so easily by myself. Now in my film class my professor respects that I own my own theatre company and that I know how to run auditions, so she let me teach the class how to run auditions and is letting me be apart of setting up auditions and doing auditions for our next film project. As well we are going to film for class a movie to practice working together and she is letting me be the actress to act out my monologue from Our Town, a play I am currently in, playing Emily. It is going to be quite different acting on camera a scene that I so often practice playing on a stage.

These are two beautiful learning experiences in my life and immersing myself in them rather than stressing about them or thinking they aren’t what I should be doing, I don’t even know what that could mean, is so much more adventurous and I love adventures. My new feeling towards class is light green.

The next adventure is of course all the little things, like trick or treat with my sister and giggling as we ate candy and walked along spooky and windy roads. The Improv team I am on, Improv 841, performs tonight and that is always a most unexpected adventure considering you have no idea what the night will bring outside of the structure of the games, except you know it’ll bring silly memories. Working with theatre family for A Christmas Carol just makes my heart so happy. For A Christmas Carol, I have a respectful and intelligent director and assistant director. I don’t need to be at all rehearsals, and most of producing and running the company takes place behind the scenes. I also wanted to let the directors feel they had my trust. Then on Tuesday night, I wasn’t going to go to rehearsal, but deciding I truly wanted to, I did. I stayed out of the rehearsing process for the most part and some of my younger girlfriends in the cast came and helped me organize when they were not in the scene. The feeling of freedom of founding a theatre company and being productive on your time, is an adventure in itself. I love nights where I can bond with my theatre family and not feel rushed. I felt relaxed.

One of the biggest light green adventures of this week was the feeling of excitement that sparked out of multiple transpiring, some of those personal and for me to keep. They are full of poems and full of future poems to be written. That excitement of adventure yet to come, is light green. I don’t feel hurt, I don’t feel stressed, but I feel lightly prodded by God in the direction He would like me to go with friendships, experiences and decisions in a determined yet gentle way.

Light green this week continues to teach me that being open to looking at a situation only a hair differently can make all the difference. Rather than when?, I have decided to ask more often how do I go from here?.

It’s a matter of either rushing and not enjoying, or relaxing and enjoying every moment in the process.

Have a beautiful week.

Good blessings.

Love,

Molly Marie ❤

AE50C36C-17BE-470B-A114-990D987F99A6

8A6EAACA-3940-416E-A888-EA92ECAA5734E482059D-603F-4C37-AA35-138354873E96

 

A Little Collection of Sentimental Poems I Wrote

Hi darlings, below I am going to share a collection of poems I wrote that are sentimental to me, and yet may mean something completely personal to your hearts. I love poetry, I love analyzing poems and I love feeling what a poem helps you to feel. If you want to discuss poems with me, I’d love you to.

green phone

From the room next closest to your snoozing self,
A loud sound, sounds itself at the hour of twelfth,
Ring!
One, two and three,
You haphazardly kick out your knees and successfully landing on your feet,
You slip on a furry sweater even though it’s 70 degrees,
Plip, plop, plip, plop,
You scurry onward half asleep,
Nearing the hearing of the waking you from your quiet dreams,
Finally you look up and see the phone pretending to shake lightly,
Your hand grasps the handle and you hold it up to your somehow chilly left ear,
Hello you say, not hesitating slightly,
On the other end who could it be?
A young man from a shimmering galaxy two light years away,
Looking for contacting the earth, finding your signal, he may?
Or is it a lost monkey happening upon a dropped phone off in the jungle on his way,
Fiddling with buttons and hitting your personal combination today.
It could even be a wide awake family member looking to chat,
Not being able to sleep and found a phone booth with three quarters she decided to pay.
The other end responds,
Hello,
That was all?
No no, only a time in a blink has passed,
Finishing with, it’s me, remember. Remember.
When was the last? 💖

Untitled design

They reached out their hands,
It was morning time,
The sun was up and shining and the flowers were slowly smiling,
For only a second their touch was felt, but in a second they whirred right by,
A minute turned to 7 hours more and evening began to grow close and true
Tick, tock. Tick, tock.
The moon was out now, this time its turn for being there shining,
Something long awaited happened again,
Again, again,
The hands met for the 8th time that day,
Finally, finally, maybe we’ll stay together,
Oh no, again, like a change in morning to night time sunny and stormy weather,
The hands held for barely enough time it felt again like a second,
A minute they had, only a short time by one another, but they were so full of daily prolepsis they had,
Every day remained the same kind of way,
Though each minute was something to hold onto and they may,
Keeping close when they could and when they couldn’t they laid,
Again, again,
Waiting to hold hands for even a moment staying for when. ❤️☁️

Untitled design (1)

Up above our wholesome hearts we through our intrigued eyes see beautiful clouds moving windily freely,
They turn from white and lightly fading in and out behind the cheerful sun to dark and gray and leaving sounds of thunder within sounding a shaking ton,
The sky is always changing, but never straying,
Staying, staying, staying.
That’s the word we hear everywhere, staying,
Not out loud or even read inside,
No we hear it deeply in our hearts and look for it profusely in our lives,
When we we find ourselves moving we often look backwards unhappy with the leaving,
When we let ourselves step away from cloudy haze, we see clarity, scared of its sky full of apparentlys,
Apparently, apparently, that word stands out coherently,
Standing here silent, staring at the inherently,
It’s upsetting to know I enjoyed sunshine when sitting in rain clouds and longed for snowflakes when holding my umbrella.
Or even standing in icy wind only just waiting right by the doors to inside.
Why did I choose to be so okay with the excuse,
I shouldn’t have, yet I don’t wish differently for my loving of skies,
For jumping through the fluffy clouds ahead where we know no bounds,
Is certainly dreaming of what’s not on the grounds,
The clouds are disappearing,
They are always gearing, and appearing,
Appearing,
Gearing onwards and upward and certainly letting God do the steering. 🙂 💖💙💖☁️💖

Untitled design (7)

Oh, how I really want to talk about it,
because I sharply found myself in thought about it,
Continuing to float through the feelings being knit,
Apparently the thought wasn’t thought about sharply enough to burst and split,
That’s a good thing.
You’d say so. Isn’t it?
That need not be rhetorical, only a slight more metaphorical.
The balloon floated by and by it went.
It didn’t need to stop, it was sent.
Going somewhere where it could be itself, floating about and never holding a frown.
It reached its home.
Here it was.
Full of air and full of wear.
Not enough to pop it open,
Though just enough to love it’s heart from inward and what it would share.
I see you there.
I’m here, floating back by.
Will you catch the ballon before it says goodbye?
The balloon floats to the clouds and stays not answering a why.
It’s smiling, that’s the hereby. 🙂 💖💙💖☁️💖🎈💖

Untitled design (4)

Oh sensitive soul one,
Bruised by a passing poke
And knocked down by a hurtful word hastily tossed to being spoke,
It’s in your heart to love riding the beautiful wind,
And it’s in your head to stand against the ocean’s current thicker than thinned,
Yet that doesn’t mean you have to give in,
To any sort of hurtful outsiders within,
It’s up to your strength to stay dreaming when awoke,
And it’s up to your sharing of love to stay forgiving when caught in their scouring smoke,
That’s sweet to be that way,
Don’t ever give your individuality away,
Let your sweet emotions stay.
You’re beautiful that way. 🙂 💖☁️💖🎀💖☁️💖☁️💖

I can’t wait to share more poems with you. I think these 5 make a sweet collection that help the feelings in my heart come together a little more than a tad, which is making me so very glad.

Good blessings.

Love,

Molly Marie ❤

 

Isn’t that an Inquiry?

Good morning friends,

I am loving where I am at when it comes to this rainy, dreary, dark, cold, and windy weather. I love how homey it makes my heart feel during storms and blizzards and gray skies especially when I am completely and not at all stressed about assignments and places to be. I want to snuggle up with my puppies and have ice cold chocolate and peanut butter ice cream, surprise, no not warm dessert, although that would be yummy too, but also watch movies ranging from spooky Halloween mysteries to cheerful and Christmas spirit classics. No, I love ice cream and find myself eating desserts more in the winter, but also the warm part of this ice cream comes in when I tell you that there is a heavy drizzle of hot fudge and peanut butter sitting ontop of my little ice cream mountain. You get the cold, you get the hot, you get the whole tasty lot.

Do you enjoy the frosty weather? If so, why?

You can enjoy both low temperatures and high temperatures too, don’t worry. I love sunshine and flowers and green trees and beautiful white clouds. That feeling sweet as your first step outside into spring seeing butterflies of technicolor flying about and birdies chirping excitedly for the sunshine hitting our happy selves is oh so neat.

Though, when the climate outside is quite the opposite, I love that too.

I am very much affected by weather. It can change a day around and change a day back to a place I didn’t know it could be in a moment.

I am curious if my decisions change based upon weather. Certainly my decisions changed based upon my mood, at times. If my mood changes based on weather, than perhaps the weather has affected my choices before.

I guess I will never know if the snow storm made me decide to dye my hair red or not. 😉

Maybe the rain shower will one day send me out into the jungle after deciding to become a solo explorer.

Actually, rain forest is more like it if we are talking about rain being my influence, nonetheless, that doesn’t sound utterly far fetched.

Furthermore, decisions are interesting. Sometimes the interest may lie in the characteristics of the decisions themselves, and other happenings, may be about how different the outcomes could be.

Decisions leave us with questions, some of those questions may be reasonable.

If I am going to college, I may ask myself, what am I going to take classes in?

That’s reasonable.

Other times, we overthink, or so I am told and understood about myself.

If I am going to college and I ask myself will the major I choose today be the major I really want or am I supposed to actually be in a major I don’t think I want so I can learn about something I am supposed to accidentally learn I really enjoy more than what I think I enjoy at this present moment in time?

Now this is when I may be considered, overthinking.

What is the point of me thinking so deeply about a question that doesn’t even need asked. If I am to accidentally stumble upon enjoying a class, then questioning it and preparing, doesn’t make it accidental. If I am to choose a major opposing the major I really want to go into, then why would I do the exact different thing than I enjoy for no apparent reason, but because I thought one possibility of going that direction would end up in what’s supposed to be.

This could go on, and on.

This question is actually a more in depth question in life to be thought about, but truly, I find myself thinking about this with everything.

Am I using hyperbole?

No, I think about everything in so many different branches of what about this or what could be or how about that.

I love it, it certainly helps me be more engrossed about what I am doing. When I decide big decisions, I will put effort into making sure I am going to do what makes sense, and often, doesn’t always quite make the most sense, but that’s because with all these here’s and there’s, I am bound to find myself out on a limb somewhere being a little spontaneous even though thought out.

If I am on that limb that’s barley hanging on, you bet I already thought about bringing a rope. Is the rope old? Yes, I didn’t have time to buy a new one, but it’s sturdy enough.

One time I made a decision that I thought through a lot, but not enough. I am constantly making this decision still. When I was 13 I became anorexic. I ended up in the hospital, but with God all the way, I recovered.

God is still helping me all the way. Today everyday I wake up, food and exercise stay on my mind. Some days less than others, but always there in some form. My weight is always changing.

I can have a good day or bad day at times based upon how I feel my body looks.

It’s upsetting.

Nonetheless, on the daily, I find myself thinking hard on how to overcome this, how to get better, how to eat the way I need to be eating, how not to stress about weight, how to workout more with the time I have and how I should look according to myself.

Sometimes I forget about how much I think about it because I am so used to thinking about it.

This could be said about many things I overthink. I overthink so much, I don’t always realize all I just tried to reorganize and go over the possibilities about sometimes not necessary, but always useful, and sometimes necessary in less than 8 seconds time.

Why am I questioning as if it is my full time job and hobby?

I am curious. I am curious all the time, but this curiosity must stem from uncertainty. I wouldn’t overthink so much if I was okay not knowing or being okay with the moment sometimes.

I find when I let myself stay in a moment longer, I over think less. I can’t change everything, everyone, every situation and I need to always remind myself how okay that is. I don’t even want to change all of that, it’s not for me to change, just how I wouldn’t want someone changing me, unless of course it was helping for the best.

God is helping me everyday overcome my eating disorder.

God is helping me follow the path He wants me to follow.

God is helping me enjoy the happy memories the life He gave us brings.

I need to let myself feel serene that in this current second in the day, I am here, writing, and only writing, my weight doesn’t matter, my project due next week isn’t being affected, the errands I need to run can’t be done right now, the people I really want to see and know more about are not around at the moment for me to even talk to, and my time to get to rehearsal will arrive when it becomes the night. This is okay. I tend to feel so urgent. Urgent, in my everyday life and my future dreams, I feel this way.

Why?

I could pick apart the why forever, but way out on a limb somewhere, I think it comes down to fear of not doing right. I want to do what’s right and make the right decisions and I don’t want anyone or myself to be hurt.

I think overthinking can be good and I will continue to do so. Except I won’t continue overthinking without trying to stop overthinking when I need to.

Faith is important. I have faith and God is holding me tight in His hug.

Let’s have faith together.

Good blessings. ❤

Love,

Molly Marie 🙂

 

 

 

Week Color Blue

Hello darlings,

I hope you have been feeling beautiful.

This week is blue. It is the blue that comes to your mind when you let the word blue pass by, thought about and dreamed about. It is that blue. It is interesting to me that we all may be seeing varying different kinds of blue, but I bet some of us are thinking about the exact same blue.

Whether you are thinking of the blue I am thinking or a blue unique to your thinking, blue is still blue.

Blue is associated with many different feelings, we could say it refers to a feeling of being calm, blue is the color of the ocean and hearing the waves crash and the seeing the waters sparkle is surely relaxing. Being calm does remind me of dreams and sleep, which are both blue. I look at the beautiful space that surrounds us, thinking of the stars and the moon, and there is so much blue in the calmness that comes from space and dreams we hold dear.

Blue can make one think of intelligence. When I think of blue I tend to think of specific jobs requiring intelligence to solve problems. Perhaps, problem solving is also blue to me because problems can be solved easier at times when remaining calm.

Blue can also be sad. You may feel blue and begin listening to jazz tunes and taking it easy. Blue is often how water appears to be colored when in an environment that lets it be so and full and tears can be an image that we see as sadness, which means we see blue.

Furthermore, blue means many things, depending on you. Most importantly, I think blue can mean happy, happy because I see blue being new. I see blue, again, perhaps because of waters, rushing out the old and bringing in the new. I see blue as a new beginning, and new beginnings, when thought of in a positive manner, are often happy.

This week is blue. On Monday, yesterday, I had a beautiful and blue in the calm thought, of a morning. I went to the horse farm where I volunteer. I am learning to become a therapy session leader for kids with the horses. For a full hour my intelligent, which certainly shows blue, trainer and I bond with a horse. I learn about horsemanship and building a relationship with the beautiful horses. Then in the spring, hopefully I will be helping lovely children learn how to build bonds with the horses. The horse I worked with yesterday, her name was Dreamer. Now, I don’t know about you, but dreams are blue. Sleep is blue. The horse was not blue in color, although, how neat would that be, a blue fur colored horse, she was a bay, but she was blue in her demeanor. She was calm, always taking her time, she was intelligent, picking up her training quickly, and she was blue because she was a dreamer, Dreamer.

My week continues to be blue. I go to school and work hard. I am following my dreams. From piano class and learning music that calms me, to passing a test after feeling stressed, I am blue.

Tonight starts rehearsals for the Christmas show with The Luminescent Moon Theatre Company. I am producing the show and playing The Ghost of Christmas Past. A new beginning is here because I am trusting a director and assistant director to take the directing on with this performance. They are intelligent, they know the story and are going to do a splendid job.

This evening will be the start of a new show with a new crew and a new cast. I am thrilled and looking forward to the classic story being shared with audiences come Christmas.

The blue taking hold of the week is a blue of hope. Hope is blue to me, because having hope calms me. It means I feel optimistic. Through the here’s and there’s of a week, hope is always something I keep. I love how blue hope is.

I hope you have a beautiful week full of your choice of lovely blue.

Good blessings. ❤

Love,

Molly Marie 🙂

 

What if there could be more lovely?

Hello darlings,

I hope you find yourself feeling loved by God and loved by Jesus Christ.

No matter what, following God and Jesus and doing lovely for others are what matters in this life.

I always have something to be curious about and something to work on. It’s part of me to constantly be questioning and consistently be moving. In the midst of my movement in life being onward and forward every second, I struggle with a lot, you know, we all do. That’s what happens here, y’all. God is perfect. Jesus Christ is perfect, but He doesn’t expect us to be perfect. That doesn’t mean we don’t need to stop working on ourselves. Notice I didn’t say “try”. It’s not enough to “try” sometimes. You need to “be” and don’t pretend it’s not as easy as it is.

As of lately all the way down to today, August 30th, today’s end, where I sit and ponder on my feelings, my thoughts and my actions, I notice I continue to need to work on another specific feature about myself.
What is it?

I hope you will be able to relate to this change. We all love having someone who feels us.
What’s my predicament? My big silliness? Something I want to change?

It’s the fact that I can’t seem to ever say something remotely negative that I know, see or feel deep down or if even only by a fine line think is true, because I always want to back it up with the opposite fact of it being something more positive, more cheerful and lovely. What if admitting to negative aspects, makes them so?

I love seeing the lovely.
It’s there.

The change is not small, but could be needed.

Why?
What if I can see more lovely if I’m allowed to say what isn’t?

You see, I find myself constantly refraining from giving all that I want to conversations, decisions and ideas because I automatically pull anything that could be considered negative. Part of me does this because I deep down want to just love people, animals, places, tea, and life as much as I can and be positive for the love I am sharing.

Part of me does this because I have a fear that if I let anything negative out, that negative will end up resulting in something being worsened.

Does that make sense?

I am fearful of the thought that lingers in my head that by admitting to something that isn’t altogether optimistic, that any hankering that could be drawn from keeping the positive only aspects will diminish.

I couldn’t ever cause someone hurt.

I couldn’t ever hurt someone’s feelings on purpose.

I couldn’t ever hurt someone.

Now, I love the fact that I hope to always be honest with others. However, why can’t I seem to be honest with myself? Unless I am being honest by letting go of negative thoughts altogether and only leaving the positive to be honest about?

Honest doesn’t have to be opening up everything you say just because you think it, but don’t lie. Nonetheless, you may also know a truth and you shan’t lie to yourself if you see, feel or know it to be true. Don’t remain in a self brought ignorance because what if admitting to that truth, meant that you could process that truth, understand that truth and learn how to move forward with that truth in a positive way instead of just pushing it away.

That negative realization still may remain, but by choosing to not deal with it doesn’t solve it.

Lovely can come if you decide to go for it.

Think of the many, many instances the word “truth” is spoke about in the Bible. They are in different stories, but the word remains throughout. That word “truth” is important.

John 8:32 English Standard Version (ESV)
“32 and you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.”
Psalm 15:2 English Standard Version (ESV)
“2 He who walks blamelessly and does what is right
and speaks truth in his heart;”
Galatians 4:16 English Standard Version (ESV)
“16 Have I then become your enemy by telling you the truth?”
Ephesians 4:15 ESV 
“Rather, speaking the truth in love, we are to grow up in every way into him who is the head, into Christ,”
1 John 1:8 English Standard Version (ESV)
“8 If we say we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us.”

If God wants us to speak truth, then why do I feel bad and guilty for speaking truth to people and myself? I’m not lying by holding back, I am just not helping myself out by admitting to things that could be worked on for good, and I am possibly in a circle of lying to myself.

We can be truthful without trying to hurt others,  spreading false information on purpose, and without seeking a horrible concomitant.

In the contrary, we can be truthful by admitting to our thoughts, feelings and what we see and using that truth to try to bring about positive change for others and the places around us.

I need to rethink how I see truth. Truth is truth, what seems to matter so often is how we share it and communicate it and let it be known.

I hope you have a good night.

Good blessings.

Love,

Molly Marie 🙂

Here’s some photos of me being happy to be me. I love being silly and I love being as me as can be without placing boundaries on the way God made me and what I He loves to see.

 

 

Slowing Down and Looking Around

Hello friends,

A happy day to you is what I hope and a happy day tomorrow to follow!

A friend of mine shared some words with me that he tells his wife, “No worry, no hurry.” Firstly, knowing me, it catches my attention because it rhymes. Besides that, it catches my attention because it’s such a simple statement full of something I could certainly begin to take more notice of in my life, and actually inside my heart know I should.

He’s lived through a lot, and I find learning from generations that have experienced so much more than I, from age and what life brings, is something I can really apply to the now and think about more deeply. Why not?

My life changes very often. I love change. Currently, I’m in a change where God has blessed me with being as usual busy, but the kind of busy that I look forward too.

I love where I go, what I do, and all my stresses are exciting.

Nonetheless, that doesn’t mean I’m enjoying everything I’m doing to the fullest capability of which I want to be. Scheduling doesn’t have to be stressful. Lately, I’ve been looking less at the clock. I keep prompt, show when I need and keep on time, but there’s no much more than just continuing to “make an event”, “get somewhere and do the thing and leave” or “show up and just be there.”. Those places to be mean something and more than just ticking off a mental knowing that you made another happening on your personal planner. They mean something because you’re doing God’s work, applying yourself and working to a goal.

Then there’s the in between times. The times your by yourself and focusing on those other priorities that you don’t have to be with. Those times you can really understand that if you slow your own breathe down and let yourself realize that not everything has to be done right away, you’ll feel so much more fulfilled. Taking my time and doing what needs to be done, even if it means, elongating the time it takes by a few days, has been so refreshing to my heart lately. God has helped me through and I’m finding myself more fulfilled by each and every small to big memory in life. Thank you God. 🙂 💖❤💖

unnamed (1).jpg

Love,

Molly Marie ❤

Week Color Yellow

Hi darlings,

I hope you feel so full of happy, cheerful and yellow feelings coming for you this week. Those are always welcome, it’s not silly and wasteful or ignorant to be happy and it’s not at all selfish to bask in a ray of sunshine all day long.

It is innocent, but that’s not bad.

Furthermore, we cannot succeed in always manufacturing ourselves a yellow week, but we can let ourselves feel a yellow week deeply when we remember God’s blessings.

I don’t often let myself feel the feeling of negativity. I try and organize any possible doubt, hurt and less than positive thought into something that has to point north.

It doesn’t have to be that way. Negativity is okay right? It balances the positive.

I’ll learn it someday. I’m in the process now. Thankfully, I’ve realized how to study it. I’ve started to learn and let myself discover parts of my personality that I was scared to understand. The Bible, prayer and finding people in my life who lead me closer to God each day have helped.

To go deeper, if I’m not mentioning the yellow from temporary feelings, then where do I get the yellow feelings from God’s blessings from?  Well I’m currently on a pause with my preschool teaching, it hurts, my littles meant so much to me, but it was time to be finished. God blessed me with the opportunity to always go back to that job that could become lifelong and fulfilling with children if I needed. He gave me so much through my time there, learning not only how to work in the environment, have new responsibilities and teach, but how to be continue my understanding of littles to hopefully be an even better mother one day. Which being a mom and having a family is a dream of mine I hold dear.

Yet I am fully thankful with going back to the awaiting old friend of a city and studying theatre, and music and writing and science and I sum this studying into musical theatre. As well as continuing my involvement with the God blessed theatre company He had me start, The Luminescent Moon, and the other theatrical involvements I’m involved in, from planning to performing, as well as God blessing me to begin work on a Christian horse ranch helping young kids find therapy from working with horses. You may know, horses have been a passion since I was small. They are beautiful animals, bringing companionship and understanding in serene moments, to being at church and surrounding myself in community and having loving family memories and friendships and working on Bible Study and mini side workings like my poem writing and fitness endeavors and enjoying the little bit of time off I have from a day job for a couple more weeks to homemaking and baking more and above all, learning more about God and applying His Word to life and trying to help others see Him.

God brought me to a place in my life where I feel so serene in a sense that my life doesn’t feel controlled. I am doing what it is I want to do in the path that I believe God is directing me. I feel excited to be pursuing the passions He instilled without feeling any portion of my commitments being the upsetting part of obligatory or just another means to get to an end. It’s a process of enjoyment along the way.

That is overall so very yellow.

I want to talk about something happy and cheerful and yellow that happened to me this week.

I realized my innocence is a beautiful characteristic of my personality. It’s not something I need to change, cover or be embarrassed by.

From the time I was little and all growing up, I always was told how innocent I was. I have always took it as a compliment. I want to not only portray innocence, but fully be innocent. I want to see the good and do good. Innocent loving and hoping is a beautiful way to see and go about life.

Innocent in what terms?

Truly, I am innocent in all terms applied when spoken to me about innocence in my personality I believe.

Nonethless, innocence doesn’t equal childness.

I always loved being called innocent and still do.

The one thing that hurts is when I find myself thinking people don’t take my thoughts, my doings and my life respectfully.

People treat you differently when they find out you are more than your outside and sometimes I don’t let people see more than my outside and a tiny little inside. I don’t close up my doors completely, but I don’t go further to open up. I don’t share all my feelings and thoughts because not everyone deserves to hear me. I’m vulnerable and I’m fragile. I’m honest, but if people heard all of me, would they believe I’m not what they hoped?

I am strong.

Depsite the constant stress of being hurt when people disrespect me, I can forgive easily.

Forgiving. Does that mean innocence?

I do not know, but I think one of the most innocent, but understanding parts about me is my ability to forgive. Forgiving means hurt is no longer there, love is in its place. That comes from God. Thank you God.

Innocence truly helps me every day not being so hurt and not being so negative. I love living this way. Why would I want to lose that word describing my personality?

I don’t. I love being innocent. I’m 20, and free to be me, innocent and always ready for tea.

It’s yellow. It’s so yellow when I have one less thing to try and change about myself to make other people think somehow what I think is a better opinion of me.

Innocent is good.

Innocent is yellow.

Have a yellow week.

God loves you.

Good blessings.

Love,

Molly Marie 💛

 

 

E8B4CECE-5F85-467F-8A33-32EE96D376E4.jpeg
My last day of working as a littles teacher was beautiful and thank you God for such a beautiful journey working with beautiful children. ❤️